Wrong Ideas of Courtship and Marriage. --The ideas of courtship have their
foundation in erroneous ideas concerning marriage. They follow impulse and blind
passion. The courtship is carried on in a spirit of flirtation. The parties
frequently violate the rules of modesty and reserve and are guilty of
indiscretion, if they do not break the law of God. The high, noble, lofty design
of God in the institution of marriage is not discerned; therefore the purest
affections of the heart, the noblest traits of character are not developed.
Not one word should be spoken, not one action performed, that you would not
be willing the holy angels should look upon and register in the books above. You
should have an eye single to the glory of God. The heart should have only pure,
sanctified affection, worthy of the followers of Jesus Christ, exalted in its
nature, and more heavenly than earthly. Anything different from this is
debasing, degrading in courtship; and marriage cannot be holy and honourable in
the sight of a pure and holy God, unless it is after the exalted Scriptural
The youth trust altogether too much to impulse. They should not give
themselves away too easily, nor be captivated too readily by the winning
exterior of the lover. Courtship as carried on in this age is a scheme of
deception and hypocrisy, with which the enemy of souls has far more to do than
the Lord. Good common sense is needed here if anywhere; but the fact is, it has
little to do in the matter.
Keeping Late Hours. --The habit of sitting up late at night is customary; but
it is not pleasing to God, even if you are both Christians. These untimely hours
injure health, unfit the mind for the next day's duties, and have an appearance
of evil. My brother, I hope you will have self-respect enough to shun this form
of courtship. If you have an eye single to the glory of God, you will move with
deliberate caution. You will not suffer lovesick sentimentalism to so blind your
vision that you cannot discern the high claims that God has upon you as a
Satan's angels are keeping watch with those who devote a large share of the
night to courting. Could they have their eyes opened, they would see an angel
making a record of their words and acts. The laws of health and modesty are
violated. It would be more appropriate to let some of the hours of courtship
before marriage run through the married life. But as a general thing, marriage
ends all the devotion manifested during the days of courtship.
These hours of midnight dissipation, in this age of depravity, frequently
lead to the ruin of both parties thus engaged. Satan exults and God is
dishonoured when men and women dishonour themselves. The good name of honour is
sacrificed under the spell of this infatuation, and the marriage of such persons
cannot be solemnized under the approval of God. They are married because passion
moved them, and when the novelty of the affair is over, they will begin to
realise what they have done.
Satan knows just what elements he has to deal with, and he displays his
infernal wisdom in various devices to entrap souls to their ruin. He watches
every step that is taken, and makes many suggestions, and often these
suggestions are followed rather than the counsel of God's word. This finely woven, dangerous net is skilfully prepared to entangle the
young and unwary. It may often be disguised under a covering of light; but those
who become its victims pierce themselves through with many sorrows. As the
result, we see wrecks of humanity everywhere.
Trifling With Hearts. --To trifle with hearts is a crime of no small
magnitude in the sight of a holy God. And yet some will show preference for
young ladies and call out their affections, and then go their way and forget all
about the words they have spoken and their effect. A new face attracts them, and
they repeat the same words, devote to another the same attentions.
This disposition will reveal itself in the married life. The marriage
relation does not always make the fickle mind firm, the wavering steadfast and
true to principle. They tire of constancy, and unholy thoughts will manifest
themselves in unholy actions. How essential it is, then, that the youth so gird
up the loins of their mind and guard their conduct that Satan cannot beguile
them from the path of uprightness.
Deceptive Practices in Courtship. --A young man who enjoys the society and
wins the friendship of a young lady unbeknown to her parents does not act a
noble Christian part toward her or toward her parents. Through secret
communications and meetings he may gain an influence over her mind, but in so
doing he fails to manifest that nobility and integrity of soul which every child
of God will possess. In order to accomplish their ends, they act a part that is
not frank and open and according to the Bible standard, and prove themselves
untrue to those who love them and try to be faithful guardians over them. Marriages contracted under such influences are not
according to the word of God. He who would lead a daughter away from duty, who
would confuse her ideas of God's plain and positive commands to obey and honour
her parents, is not one who would be true to the marriage obligations. . . .
"Thou shalt not steal" was written by the finger of God upon the
tables of stone, yet how much underhand stealing of affections is practised and
excused! A deceptive courtship is maintained, private communications are kept
up, until the affections of one who is inexperienced, and knows not whereunto
these things may grow, are in a measure withdrawn from her parents and placed
upon him who shows by the very course he pursues that he is unworthy of her
love. The Bible condemns every species of dishonesty. . . .
This underhand way in which courtships and marriages are carried on is the
cause of a great amount of misery, the full extent of which is known only to
God. On this rock thousands have made shipwreck of their souls. Professed
Christians, whose lives are marked with integrity, and who seem sensible upon
every other subject, make fearful mistakes here. They manifest a set, determined
will that reason cannot change. They become so fascinated with human feelings
and impulses that they have no desire to search the Bible and come into close
relationship with God.
Avoid the First Downward Step. --When one commandment of the Decalogue is
broken, the downward steps are almost certain. When once the barriers of female
modesty are removed, the basest licentiousness does not appear exceeding sinful.
Alas, what terrible results of woman's influence for evil may be witnessed in the world today! Through the allurements of "strange women,"
thousands are incarcerated in prison cells, many take their own lives, and many
cut short the lives of others. How true the words of Inspiration, "Her feet
go down to death; her steps take hold on hell."
Beacons of warning are placed on every side in the pathway of life to prevent
men from approaching the dangerous, forbidden ground; but, notwithstanding this,
multitudes choose the fatal path, contrary to the dictates of reason, regardless
of God's law, and in defiance of His vengeance.
Those who would preserve physical health, a vigorous intellect, and sound
morals must "flee . . . youthful lusts." Those who will put forth
zealous and decided efforts to check the wickedness that lifts its bold,
presumptuous head in our midst are hated and maligned by all wrongdoers, but
they will be honoured and recompensed of God.
Sow Wild Oats--Reap a Bitter Crop. --You must not imperil your souls by
sowing wild oats. You cannot afford to be careless in regard to the companions
A little time spent in sowing your wild oats, dear young friends, will
produce a crop that will embitter your whole life; an hour of thoughtlessness,
once yielding to temptation, may turn the whole current of your life in the
wrong direction. You can have but one youth; make that useful. When once you
have passed over the ground, you can never return to rectify your mistakes. He
who refuses to connect with God, and puts himself in the way of temptation will
surely fall. God is testing every youth. Many have excused their carelessness
and irreverence because of the wrong example given them by more experienced professors. But this should not deter any from right
doing. In the day of final accounts you will plead no such excuses as you plead